Good morning! Sounding optimistic, ain't I? Well, I'm feeling much better today!
Yesterday, I was in fact sick and had to throw up a couple of times at home and at the metro station (excuse me)! But, I still had to go to work though. It was one of those days when I needed to get over the sickness - not that it's an absolute must. It's just that I felt the need to do so. After all, I just came back from a vacation. A sick leave shouldn't be necessary..
Why was I sick? I suppose it was the sum of all possible causes! xp In the first place, I was still recovering from the physical stress out of the long travels and moving around plus the time difference. My friends remarked, perhaps I was too tired that I was snoring endlessly all throughout my sleep for how many nights already!
Secondly, while it's wet season at home, it's actually summer here. And, by summer, I mean scorching hot summers! Thirdly, I admit, I am stressed out. I worry too much lately - family, work, goals. And, it isn't healthy at all! I'm just glad that I have some people whom I could share the burden with. As they've said: A shared sorrow is half the sorrow.
So, how could I be feeling much better today?!
Well, I prayed. Yes, I know how to pray :)
I grew up in a family where religious obligations must always be given time. I studied in religious schools and have recited the holy rosary and novenas who knows how many times. I have taught kids once in my life during Flores de Mayo. I have served as a catechist for quite some time. I have attended the holy mass almost everyday at some point during my review for the board exams. I have visited churches and offered dozens of eggs hoping that I could smoothly go out of the country for work.
I pray, but how could I dwell too much on my own share of crosses when all this time I have been so blessed?! All this time, I've always been provided of what I have fervently asked for. How could I not simply trust when I know how powerful a prayer can be?! Although,...
"Let Your will be done.." is one prayer that's most difficult for me to say. As simple and as common as it is, the very sense of it is too much, too heavy for me. What if I was planning all these years and all along, it isn't meant to be? What if, this is what I have been working so hard for but it isn't the right thing for me? What if my goals and dreams cannot be realized. It's scary and it will be heartbreaking. On the other hand, what if you have been working so hard and you have been saying this for a very long time already and yet nothing happened?! I'm guessing, that state of being idle is not at all comforting either!
A man plans. At least, that's the best he can do to cope up with the overwhelming uncertainties of life as it is not as easy and even sometimes far from being logical. But, a man's plans will, more or less, only address limited instances.
For example - saving for the future. <cos this is what's bugging me these days, comes with the age xp>
Say you want to save. You calculate N months and you get this much. Math is easy. Life, however, is tricky. The time in between the N months will never be easy. It's a struggle. At least, that's what makes reaching a goal fulfilling! In our plans, the goals are attainable but in reality, the journey towards it will never be that simple for we have emotions. We think but we still feel.
http://kharensarroza.blogspot.com/2012/07/dear-god-im-worried-part-2.html
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